DINK, KidFree, Love and Life

Living Blissful Heartfelt Moments to Accepting You are Getting Older: The Trek into the Childfree Adulting Life

Have you ever had a perfect moment, one where it almost feels magical?

Yesterday was it for me. It started so quietly, on the couch, just Mr. Beard, myself and our cat Puck, who was curled up into me. I was knitting, my husband doing a crossword, some Ray LaMontagne softly playing over our stereo. All that was missing was a roaring fireplace, as part of this beautiful childfree morning.

It was blissful. 

Then, with a smart-ass quip, the moment was gone. Mr. Beard joked that he never felt so grown up before just sitting, the two of us and Puck on the couch. It was a little joke, playing back to me commenting the night before about how much of an adult I felt like, with our now full freezer, and all the nicely vacuumed sealed meat we had packed away.

This teasing about aging, and finally being grown-ups has happened a lot recently for the two of us. I don’t know if it is because we recently moved into a gorgeous rental house in the suburbs from a 2 bedroom apartment in the city, or because we both decided that our family is complete, just the two of us, childfree. It was a decision we had been toying with for a long time, neither of us wanting to make the decision for the other. But either way, recently, we both have started to feel more like adults. It took until we were almost 40 years old, but it finally happened. And it’s not a bad thing.

This DINK Life (Dual Income, No Kids) that we’ve created together is filled with joy, happiness, family, kitties, hospital visits, budgets, and even fears. That’s the thing. Being an adult means recognizing that things do not need to be, nor are they going to be, perfect. There are times when we are so riddled with anxiety; from Mr. Beard being hospitalized because of his Crohn’s disease to making decisions about my business.  We’ve had the difficult conversations; going childfree, moving homes, our life-expectations.

These moments of conflict, bring us together, strengthen our bond. 

This coming together over difficult moments, is often when other couples turn on each other. But, it is also what has helped us stay together for the past 18 years. The way I see it, sometimes the easiest way to combat a problem is to have a common enemy. Then there is a question to be solved. Steps to be taken, and a clear path to your (im)perfect future. Together.

That’s the thing about living the adult, childfree life. It won’t be perfect, but it will be perfectly yours. 

What are your perfect moments like? How do you come together over tough situations? Comment below with how you find bliss in your childfree life!

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4 thoughts on “Living Blissful Heartfelt Moments to Accepting You are Getting Older: The Trek into the Childfree Adulting Life”

  1. I feared my 40s and 50s without kids because of all the things you’ve written about (FOMO etc), but the good thing about getting older is that you get more tired (bear with me!) and just appreciate the peace, quiet and head space a lot more than you ever imagined you would. At 47 I still have the occasional FOMO moment but never miss having kids in my daily life

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  2. My spouse and I have two cats that we refer to as our “boys” our oldest will be 13 soon and the youngest will be 3. We love to mutually gush over how cute they are when our 12 year old gives the 2 year old a bath lol. We love to cook special dinners and desserts at home, and shamelessly indulge in a good movie or netflix show. My spouse and I have been through a lot together between my illnesses, surgeries, moves, traveling etc. and I have to say I feel quite proud that we’ve chosen to stay together through it all. He is truly my partner, and that is I suppose the silver lining in the chaos!

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  3. My childfree blissful moment is a very similar to yours. Except we three kitties!! We are very adventurous and so we also have those moments when we travel, camp, hike or go out for fine dining. Living our lives for us and doing what makes us happy!

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