I’m struggling, and have been for a little while. As a childfree adult, and having recently moved, I feel like I lost my sense of community.
That’s the thing with living the kidfree life – you miss out on the readymade community that comes with having a child. The playgroups, school groups, hell even connections at work, since children make for easy small talk.
All this isn’t to say I’m friendless; I have friends I talk to daily, weekly and even those who pop in an out of my life. But I feel like perhaps I don’t exactly belong.
This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve felt like this. In fact, I once spent years looking to belong to something. I signed up for jewelry making classes, cooking classes, the odd exercise class, but nothing seemed to click.
I would go to these classes. Alone. I would sit and learn the lesson. Alone. I would leave. Alone. My community was not going to be found in these places.
I thought I was putting myself out there, risking something on myself, but in hindsight, they were all such half-assed attempts. I didn’t risk anything, but a little bit of money. I was just showing up, not even trying to make a real connection. But, at the time, just stepping out of my home felt scary. I couldn’t imagine doing much more.
As time went on, I eventually did actually put myself out there, by asking for help with my weight-loss, and that changed everything for me. During weekly meetings, I shared my pain, celebrated my and everyone else’s joys and I found a place I belong to. In these meetings, I felt at home. Finding a place where you can contribute, feel heard, and most of all, feel welcome is the start of belonging.
So now that I’ve moved, it’s time to find something a little more local. And for some reason, I started back to the old ways. I signed up for a Pilates class at the local community center. Where I go. Alone. I exercise. Alone. I head home. Alone. I enjoy the class, and it’s great for my body, but it’s not the community I am searching for.
Sometimes, it’s not until you see it in writing, but see it, I have. It’s time to put myself out there. Make myself uncomfortable, and take a risk to find where I belong again. And part of that is sharing my life with you all, in hopes that you’ll feel comfortable sharing too.
Looking for a community? Take that risk, and introduce yourself below!
If you liked what you read, like the post! Really liked it, hit subscribe. Loved it, tell your friends about us! I love to watch our Kidfree Not Care Free community grow!